Crim 2021 deferred to 2022.  Chicago 2021 deferred to 2022.  NYC 2021 cancelled.  Tokyo 2020 deferred to 2022 and again deferred to 2023. Hopes, dreams, and passions turned into one massive wildfire in the blink of an eye.  If advocating for my life over the course of 5.5 weeks isn’t accepting reality, then I really don’t know what else is.

“Success is never being thrown off by what reality tosses at you.”

– Matt Fitzgerald, author

What is accepting reality?  To me, this is taking life’s curveballs, swallowing hard through tears, and letting your brain intellect take over your heart’s desires.  For me, I had to listen to my body that wasn’t quite bouncing back from my June personal best marathon.  I needed help.  I didn’t exactly realize how much I really needed, physically and emotionally, at the time.

Why is accepting reality hard?  An athlete of any level never wants to accept defeat because it shows weakness, failure, and disappointment.  As someone who constantly strives for perfectionism in work, life, and sport, defeat is my nemesis.  I set crazy goals and go after them with fierce fire in just about everything I do.  However, in order to do that, you have to be at the top of your game.  And NO one is at the top of their game 100% of the time.  We aren’t born with superhero powers, even if we sometimes think we are completely invincible while we are having the time of our life.

When you are forced to accept reality, you can toss in the sweaty towel (resignation) or you can pivot to make the best of a bad situation (acceptance).  However, this won’t come without a few obstacles in the way.  Barriers to accepting reality are all too common.  Cognitive bias and fear are definitely two barriers that I have lived through recently.  Cognitive bias refers to being blind to the realities that you are faced with because it undermines your passions and beliefs at what you think is the best based on your past experiences.  More appropriately described, this is when you want to follow your heart when your brain is telling you that you are being an idiot.  Even more simplistic, this was me running a speedy 5k race on Fourth of July when I was still struggling to bounce back from my marathon a mere two weeks earlier.  Another barrier to accepting reality is fear.  Fear is being scared of the reality of the unknown because it threatens your identity.  When you have to face reality that you don’t want to face, fear sets in.  You have to learn to combat fear with bravery – something that is no easy task and takes much patience, self-talk, and the strongest support squad.  No battles in life should be fought alone.  When my running life came to a screeching halt in early July, I learned to accept what I could do, even though my heart didn’t desire it.  For me, modifying my strength workouts while I got the physical help that I needed allowed my mental game to persevere through the most fearful time of my life.  While my body needed a running break, my muscles still demanded attention.  It was finally time to dust off my bike and dig out the kayak to still find a way to chase sunrises and sunsets even if it meant I had tears rolling down my face.  Celebrating my birthday at the gym with the most supportive coach in the morning and on my kayak in the evening with my incredible husband during a dark time in my life was exactly what I needed.

Accepting reality is the first step in dealing with setbacks in sport and life.  It is not something that happens overnight.  It is downright exhausting.  However, in order to keep moving through life forward, you have to accept reality first in order to embrace reality next.  Accepting that you need help isn’t a taboo.  In fact, the only person you have to convince that you need help ultimately is yourself.  Your support squad is ready to help you along the journey.

And with that, my race deferrals and cancellations became easier to accept.  I soon realized that there is so much more to the athletic world than simply running ruthless mileage.  But do I regret being ruthless?  I always live life with no regrets.  Being ruthless to cause two minimally painful pelvic fractures ultimately saved my life from an asymptomatic incidental gigantic pelvic mass that had taken over its fair-share of my core.

(Stay tuned for Part 2: Embracing Reality – Coming Soon!)